Math Jokes - Holliday edition

From this collection of math jokes (I will not repeat the ones that denigrate enginneers.)

Q: What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
A: Pumpkin Pi!
(the above is a little late for Halloween)

Q: Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach?
A: Because they use sine and cosine to get a tan and don't need the sun!

Q: Why do mathematicians often confuse Christmas and Halloween?
A: Because Oct 31 = Dec 25.
(this year they can confuse Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas because Oct 31 = Nov 27 = Dec 25, somebody check my math)

Five Simularities between a Ouija Board and the Internet

Ouija Board

vs.

The Internet
(represented by the clever OuijaNet board)

Ouija Board: A method for receiving messages through the ether from loved ones who have Crossed Over.
Internet: A method for receiving messages through ethernet from spammers who'd love to sell you stuff.

Ouija Board: Ouija planchette glides over the board directed by hands of dead spirits.
Internet: Mouse glides over mouse pad directed by a hand that feels dead due to terminal carpal tunnel syndrome.

Ouija Board: Messages spelled out letter by letter.
Internet: Messages spelled out letter by letter as everything slows to a crawl because of the adware clogging your computer and your crappy broadband connection.

Ouija Board: Sometimes the messages make sense and sometimes they don't.
Internet: Sometimes the messages make sense and sometimes they don't. Perhaps you have your spam filters tuned a little too loosely.

Ouija board: This picture shows untold power released when the Other World strikes back.
Internet: This picture shows ungrounded power source without surge protector striking back because you still had to surf the Internet even during a thunderstorm.

Bonus -

Ouija Board: Unwise use of the board may open a portal to the spirit world and subject the user to demonic possession, a la The Exorcist.
Internet: Unwise use of the Internet may open the ports on your computer to possession by spam bots, worms, viruses, Google cookies, Nigerian Advance Fee Fraud, RIAA shakedowns, FBI subpoenas, or if you are lucky, just demonic possession.

(This topic was inspired by the Rowland OuijaNet.)