Friday, March 16, 2007

Three rules for eating

In recent post, the Virtual Ranger describes a dinner party with some invertebrate entrees. I strongly suggest caution when reading the Ranger's post as he is eating BUGS!

The ranger has failed to follow the three important rules for eating (my mother taught me this):

1.) Never eat anything that is still alive. The bugs eaten by the Ranger fall into this category from sheer force of imagination. Most Klingon food falls into this catagory.

2.) Never eat anything that looks like it has already been eaten. A good example would be refried beans. I never felt the need to expand this category to include things that had actually been eaten but having heard of weasel coffee (Civets eat and poop out the coffee beans which are then roasted and brewed) I now must add a corollary to this rule.

3.) Never eat anything that looks back at you. This covers fish with the heads on. The plate always seems to be placed so that the eyes point at me. This could even cover sunny side up eggs if they are arranged properly. Sometimes the eggs try to stare you down.

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