Wednesday, January 04, 2006

You may be an Alien Abductee!

I love these articles with lists of question to help you determine if you are something. In this case, 58 signs that you might be an alien abductee. (found at fark.com, these guys copied from here) Aside from the essential creepiness of the idea, and the ridiculousness of the premise (there are no aliens abducting people), if you read through the whole list you will get a hit no matter what. Too many hits and I would be concerned that you have a serious phsychological problem.

How about these "unusual" items:
Have been paralyzed in bed with a being in your room.
Sleep paralysis is a well known syndrome which is getting better attention all the time. There was an excellent article about sleep paralysis in Science News in July. I have personally experienced the sleep paralysis symptoms, but sorry, no being in my room.
Have a memory of flying through the air which could not be a dream, or many dreams involving flying.

Have a cosmic awareness, an interest in ecology, environment, vegetarianism, or are very socially conscious.
Never having a dream about flying sounds more unusual than having one to me. And I always knew those environmentalists were from another planet. Why do they care so much about this one then?

and my two favorites:
Have the feeling that you are going crazy for even thinking about these sorts of things.

Have many of these traits but can't remember anything about an abduction or alien encounter.
I don't remember being abducted by aliens, eek!

This list reminds me of other list of questions or characteristics I see for diagnosing oneself with alcoholism, depression, or schizophrenia. I always seem to pass these test with flying colors, which is to say I have every disease these tests test for. I was always a good test taker. Perhaps a few questions on the web are not the best diagnostic tool. I am guessing that these tests cast a wide net and that everybody feels different from normal at some time in their lives.

1 comment:

Jeremy said...

If you have been abducted, there are many easy ways to avoid abduction in the future:

For instance: "Like cats, aliens are terrified of vacuum cleaners. If you sense aliens approaching, simply turn on the ol’ Hoover and any nearby aliens will scurry to safety by crawling under a nearby bed."

How to Avoid Alien Abduction

Axes & Alleys is always there to help.