Five Simularities between a Ouija Board and the Internet

Ouija Board

vs.

The Internet
(represented by the clever OuijaNet board)

Ouija Board: A method for receiving messages through the ether from loved ones who have Crossed Over.
Internet: A method for receiving messages through ethernet from spammers who'd love to sell you stuff.

Ouija Board: Ouija planchette glides over the board directed by hands of dead spirits.
Internet: Mouse glides over mouse pad directed by a hand that feels dead due to terminal carpal tunnel syndrome.

Ouija Board: Messages spelled out letter by letter.
Internet: Messages spelled out letter by letter as everything slows to a crawl because of the adware clogging your computer and your crappy broadband connection.

Ouija Board: Sometimes the messages make sense and sometimes they don't.
Internet: Sometimes the messages make sense and sometimes they don't. Perhaps you have your spam filters tuned a little too loosely.

Ouija board: This picture shows untold power released when the Other World strikes back.
Internet: This picture shows ungrounded power source without surge protector striking back because you still had to surf the Internet even during a thunderstorm.

Bonus -

Ouija Board: Unwise use of the board may open a portal to the spirit world and subject the user to demonic possession, a la The Exorcist.
Internet: Unwise use of the Internet may open the ports on your computer to possession by spam bots, worms, viruses, Google cookies, Nigerian Advance Fee Fraud, RIAA shakedowns, FBI subpoenas, or if you are lucky, just demonic possession.

(This topic was inspired by the Rowland OuijaNet.)

Steampunk Internet LOL Oujia board

Not that I believe in superstitions of the sort suggested by a Ouija board, but if I had to contact the spirit of the Internet while away from my keyboard I might want to use Jeffrey Rowland's Internet Ouija board, called OuijaNet . Certainly the value and veracity of things that can be gleaned from the web of lies that is the Internet is about equivalent to the ghostly smoothness of the Ouija planchette gliding over your spirit message letter by letter, and about as quick if the broadband is screwed up.

Rowland is the (starving) artist responsible for Overcompensating, which has brought great humor in the past ("a lot" is two words! ephemerality of digital information, tinfoil hats and RLS). Since he included some LOLCATS I thought I would spruce up the picture a little. (Webcest is almost self-explanatory, and has not survived to become a new word according to Wikipedia)

As with all things there is an alterior motive, to enter the contest to win a t-shirt, mousepad and Ouija board. He should sell a computer mouse that looks like the ouija glider to compliment a mouse pad with this image (without my words of course, see right) on it.

The contest is a random drawing - I like those odds.