Top 10 things not to do the day of your wedding

Or ten things not to do the weekend of the wedding, from the groom's point of view.

10. Risk an allergic reaction and a swollen faced mother of the groom by having the rehearsal dinner at a great seafood restaurant, when she is allergic to crab.

9. Dare your friend, the deacon who is presiding at the wedding, by saying you are sure there is nothing embarrassing that he could put in the sermon for your wedding.

8. Chase your bride out of the new house when she is trying to get ready so that you can give your family a tour, just because you are not allowed to see her before the wedding.

7. Have the whole wedding party tempt fate and a broken ankle by playing on the rocks in the creek behind your new house the morning of the wedding.

6. Mechanically smile for every one of the two thousand pictures that will capture the memory of this day - forever.

5. Arrive at check-in after the other unrelated wedding party that is also happening that weekend so that it takes you an hour to get to your room, well behind schedule.

4. Play near open windows or busy streets, speed and get caught by the police, or accidentally get on a plane to California or any number of the activities that would stop you from making it to the wedding - if you lived in a sitcom.

3. Attempt to play Rummy 500 in the final minutes til V-hour (vow hour) when all you have left is the concentration and composure of a blindsided crooked politician on 60 Minutes.

2. Run with scissors.

...

And the number one you shouldn't do during your wedding weekend...

1. Blog




tags: wedding, top ten, Wilmington

Mostly good news on the election front

Did you vote? I hope so. That's what makes it a democracy (or technically a republic, but you get the idea).

The Good News

If the President didn't get the message as he watches the Democrat Party take over the House and the Senate he really isn't listening. One suggestion that he is listening is the ouster of Secretary Rumsfeld. It is funny to hear him all conciliatory today, since yesterday they were on the attack.

Rick Santorum was defeated by Bob Casey. I would have snuck across the border to vote in that one if it was legal. My big problem with Santorum: The National Weather Services Duties Act of 2005, which would have made me pay for the weather data I was already paying for with my taxes just so Santorum's Accuweather buddies could have exclusive access to the data. Bye Bye Rick.

Political ads will go away for awhile. As entertaining as they got toward the end, they do seem to saturate the airwaves. I expected 93.7 WSTW in Wilmington to have dead air time today as the station manager scrambled to find advertising to fill the 12 hours of political commercials a day that have stopped since the election.

The Bad News

Beau Biden defeats Ferris Wharton in the Attorney General race in Delaware. I think Biden traded on his name to get this one, and was probably helped by the general buoyancy of the Democrats this year. For all of the complaining about that the Biden ads did about Ferris Wharton's attack ads, I heard ten Biden ads for every Wharton ad. I am guessing a lot of money was spent on that race.

Nobody but the same old people on the ballot in Wilmington. I left the council seats and legislature seats blank when I voted because there was only one candidate (Democrat, what else) and I wasn't going to vote for the same people that have let Wilmington sink into crime and financial trouble.

On the whole a good election, let's see what happens next.

tags: Delaware, election, Wilmington

Can't have too many regional dialect quizzes, can you?

Guess where I am from? My only hint: the results of the regional dialect quiz below.

What American accent do you have?
Your Result: Philadelphia

Your accent is as Philadelphian as a cheesesteak! If you're not from Philadelphia, then you're from someplace near there like south Jersey, Baltimore, or Wilmington. if you've ever journeyed to some far off place where people don't know that Philly has an accent, someone may have thought you talked a little weird even though they didn't have a clue what accent it was they heard.

What American accent do you have?

Take More Quizzes

I know that I have discusssed regional dialects before somewhere.

tags: dialects, language, American english, linguistics

You still have time to vote!

It's 5pm. Did you vote today? If not please run out and do so.

Diesel Sweeties spoofs computer voting machines taking over the world and takes a swipe at Delaware, all at the same time.

Anyone should be honored to receive Delaware as a consolation prize after the machines take over the world.

I, for one, would like to be the first to welcome our new error-ridden, fraud-prone, and paper-trail-lacking computerized voting machine overlords.

tags: voting, comics, Delaware

Recursively wearing "mummy raking leaves" t-shirt while raking leaves

The infinite series boggles the mind. I wore my mummy raking leaves t-shirt while raking leaves.









I imagine that the mummy on the t-shirt has a similar t-shirt on under the wrappings.

(T-shirt through diesel sweeties)

Gunshots way too close to my house in Wilmington

I was rudely awakened by gunshots at 1:34am, early this Saturday morning. At least that is what I thought they were, never having heard gunshots before. This was confirmed by the arrival of many police cars and an ambulance to take someone away from the house whose back faces mine across the alleyway. A glance at the police report in the News Journal shows that the incident hasn't appeared yet (at 9am).

An ambulance took away the alleged victim. Here are two police cars disgorging officers to look for shell casings

This looks more interesting on CSI. They were using rubber gloves to mark the location of the shell casings as they found them.

And I think they cleanup their rubber gloves after they use them to mark the locations. These were on the ground in the morning.


This morning in the light I took picture of the door with its new decoration of bullet holes. I hope they replace this before I have to sell my house.






It sounded like three gunshots last night, but a careful examination shows five. Did you know that the foam core doors have foam in them? On "This Old House" they usually provide a cutaway for explanation. This seems like a more violent way to find that out.



Thank god I am out of here in few weeks. Once the gunshots reach your neighborhood, it is time to abandon the area. This isn't the first time the police have visited the area. I certainly have no complaints about the Wilmington Police department, they have always responded quickly, politely and efficiently. It is too bad that the tougher neighborhoods in the city still seem to be sliding downhill. Perhaps I could express my displeasure with the management of the city by voting for someone else when I exercise my franchise on Tuesday? Oh, wait it is the same people on the ballot all the time, choice in a Democratic machine controlled city is an illusion. (I'm still going to vote.)

The official score:
Urban 1, Urban gentrification 0

tags: crime, gunshots, gentrification, Washington Street, Wilmington, Delaware

Which Quiz are you - the Meta Quiz

You knew it would come to this, a quiz to determine which quiz are you.




Which quiz are you ?

This pointless quiz was made by TMO
The results are so true.

Now I need a quiz to determine which quiz determines which quiz I am...

(via Exploding Aardvark)

tags: quiz, meta

Ted Neeley and Buddy Jesus: Separated at birth?

Perhaps they could get someone slightly younger to play the title role in Jesus Christ Superstar. Ted Neeley has been playing Jesus for 35 years (Dialogue article, caution .pdf, News Journal article), longer than the real Jesus had been alive. It showed in his awful, vacant performance at the Dupont Theatre on Friday. We walked out at intermission, so maybe I am not qualified to give a full review. Jesus was looking a little long in the tooth, but perhaps we Wilmingtonians are so starved for a brush with celebrity that the audience gave him the benefit of the doubt.

Ted Neeley was in the film version in 1973 and is 63 now. He was better (and younger, and had more hair) in the movie. Friday's performance was empty and cartoonish, with much outstretched hands and mumbled blessings, I expected him to do the "beauty pageant screwing in a lightbulb" wave at any moment. His resemblance to Buddy Jesus from the movie Dogma was eerie. Worse, the microphone or whatever stuck to his forehead was very prominent and distracting.

The rest of the cast would have been worth staying to watch but Neeley was too painful to sit through. Corey Glover of Living Colour fame was a fantastic Judas, using his signature "Cult of Personality" voice to match the intensity of the music and lyrics. The ensemble had strong voices, meeting the almost unnatural dynamic range required for some of the smaller male parts, the priests in particular.

All in all I am sorry I got suckered into getting these extra tickets; they were not part of the regular subscription series. Our little DuPont Theatre is admirable in its attempt to bring a piece of Broadway south to Wilmington, but sometimes the most the performances have going for them is it only takes me ten minutes to get downtown to see them.

tags: Jesus Christ Superstar, Ted Neeley, Corey Glover, DuPont Theatre, Wilmington, Delaware

The Raging Torrent

Here is a shot of the raging torrent that was Shellpot Creek behind my new house on Saturday morning. This is what the normally babbling brook looks like when you dump an inch or two of rain overnight into it. Apparently it was even more raging earlier in the morning before the rain stopped.

The water came no where near up the bank so the house is safe. It is almost hypnotic to look at, and very loud. That is fine by me, as long as it stays in the creek where it belongs.

tags: Shellpot Creek, Wilmington, Delaware

The Matrix Rewritten

For some reason I said I told someone to have hope the other day. Not about anything important, it was just a superficial comment. But that put me in mind of the line from the film, "The Matrix Reloaded".

"Hope. It is the quintessential human delusion, simultaneously the source of your greatest strength and your greatest weakness"
- The Architect in the film the Matrix Reloaded

Just replace hope with whatever you like.

"Ice Cream. It is the quintessential human delusion, simultaneously the source of your greatest strength and your greatest weakness"

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"Blogging. It is the quintessential human delusion, simultaneously the source of your greatest strength and your greatest weakness"

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Just for fun.